The Counselor Is In

"I think I am losing my mind." Have you ever thought that?

If you are like most people, you have probably thought that, at least jokingly, once or twice in your life.

"I think I need therapy." Have you ever thought that?

I don't know if many people think that or not. I don't know if I have ever seriously thought that before. Although, I've considered it. However, I guess, I've never thought I actually "needed" therapy. (Although, I 'm sure the rest of the world thought I did.)

Of course, I knew I had "issues." Who doesn't? Right?

Well, these counseling courses, that I have been taking, have convinced me that I'm NUTS!!!

(Please, quit laughing. I know that you have known this all along. However, I am trying to communicate serious personal information here.)

Did you know that I have had serious, unconscious troubles since I was zero years old? It's true. I fit all the symptoms.

In addition, I've had serious, unconscious troubles through my toddler, childhood, youth, young adult, and mid-life years. It's true. I fit all the symptoms.

We briefly touched on grief issues tonight. I will probably fit all those symptoms whenever we cover them.

We briefly touched on a few other things too, but I forgot what they were. However, I'm sure I will fit all those symptoms too whenever we cover them.

If I really wanted to take all this information to an extreme, I could really get bogged down in all this stuff and feel very depressed about the problematic state of my mental health.

However, I choose to reject that option. I am going to take a fair and balanced approach to this whole thing.

I'm choosing to call myself normal.

To some degree, I think everyone probably has a lot of the same types of problems. We just have them to different degrees.

I know the book is addressing the problems of people who are on an extreme end of the spectrum. However, I think this counseling stuff is something that could be beneficial to most everyone. This is very good information. It gives me a lot to think about and a lot to ponder over.

You know, I can always get better...

In the meantime, I think I will just work on keeping a healthy level of insanity.

Here are a few funnies that a friend sent to me. I may try to implement a few of these into my routine.

20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity:

1. At Lunch Time, Sit in Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer at Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once everyone has gotten over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds."

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With the Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order diet water with a serious face whenever you go out to eat.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're not in the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You by Your Wrestling Name, "Rock Bottom."

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, yelling "Run for Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity... It's Called Therapy.

So, for anyone needing to chat... THE COUNSELOR IS IN.